poetry in motion (cheesy-lisious)
<< 2:45 a..m. - Saturday, Sept. 21, 2002 >>
watched American Beauty for the first time. loved it. it was like a poem in images, the way they filmed, seemed like a strange filling dream. A dream that made sense for once. every character has all this emotion wrapped around them, all very different.

life has taken on a different perspective. I'm still too quiet, i'm still too shy but i think the winds of change have begun to blow. I sense my old friends feel it too, like everyone is taking a step away from me, putting up a shield of sorts. Knowing the danger of getting too close. why is it bad that I have made new friends? What am I doing wrong? Do they think these aren't the friends I should have? I feel the burn of guilt on my back. and i can't seem to sort things out.

i'm messy now, my clothes lie on the floor, not in color coded hangers like they used to. Organization is not my middle name. I can barely keep math homework straight.

Again I am staying up til 3. I have to work tomorrow as well. Wahh! My job in general feels totally pointless, when people ask what I do, i talk about working at a dog grooming "salon" (if thats what you'd call it). They're like, oh so you wash dogs, but nooo i have to say,"No i blow dogs." Is there any better way to say this? i mean blow drying, but the job itself feels directionless. but my boss is totally great, she inspired me to become a vegan. And I've stuck with it for 9 monthes now. Yahoo!

I think the light from the screen i keeping my dear friends from slumber, so i really should end this now.

Adou!

P.S. Hey you! (you know) email me dammit!