the silent tounge? I dunno. whatever.
<< 8:14 p.m. - Thursday, Sept. 19, 2002 >>
Damn my silent and placid tongue! I can NEVER talk when I want to. Gah! I had so many things to say in TOK (among other things) and yet my mouth does not open. I might as well be mute. Whatever I manage to cough out is pointless blather.

Anyways... had dragonboat practice. My shoulder is increasingly sore from paddling on the left. (my poor smashed thumb)The practice itself was nice, i got back into the whole rhythm of it. But thats not what I wanted to talk about. As I was on the Esplinade (is that how its spelled?) I stared out over the river, lights strewn all about, the hum of cars speeding along the freeway and for a moment thought of how nice it was. But is that really beautiful? Industry, light pollution, oil, racing cars, and the like. Is that beauty? Some may argue that it shows our evolution; the advance of technology. Gug..whatever. How can something that destroys all natural living things be called progress? Email me with ideas.

Moving on....

I'm slowly detacthing from my old EMS friends. Its so very strange, like a plant ripped from the earth, the roots still cling. I don't know what I want, who I want. I just know I need a change. I'm tired of sleepovers that consist of "doing eachothers make up." I'm losing interest in a game of Truth or Dare that begins and ends in "So (insert name), who do you like?" Why do we even ask? It's not like we're going to ask anyone out. The questions just echo around us again and again, and until now no one had really stepped to the plate. (have i or not?)

I want freedom, I need fresh air, i just hope it won't cripple me in the process. I have clung so tightly to what I knew. I cannot leave them altogether, but perhaps take on other friends. Well I really do have to do McNeely's homework. cry, freedom, cry. What does that mean you ask? I dunno.

Goo bi now