"don't carry the world upon your shoulders..."
<< 12:02 a.m. - Sunday, Sept. 29, 2002 >>
I wonder if anyone would notice if I stole some ale from the fridge. I need some sort of buzz at the moment. I want to stay on alert�or something like that. But the closest I've come is to drink water from wine pitcher. (ooh!)Whatever it is, I had a cream soda and watched Silence of the Lambs and Saving Grace. Walked the four blocks from White Paper, thinking.

There were footsteps behind me and a whisper, Hannibal Lector? Is he going to skin me alive? Eep!

I walked onto Hawthorne; green shards of an alcohol bottle (I presume) lay around me glittering like a thousand stars. A piece got stuck in my shoe and squeaked against the cement as I was walking. A boy raced by with a low riding bike, his studded belt unmasked from beneath his shirt. Lights hit the Seminary and glided by into my face. I wanted to hide among the roses, creeping along stealthily so that no one would see me. A spotlight hit the sky in the distance, illuminating the clouds nearby, such a strange sight.

I thought about the women who rolled around in the grass, dancing with police officers, both high out of their minds. What a lovely movie! And through all of this, sudden observations and frightening thoughts, I realized how happy I am just to be me. I mean seriously. Of course at times I feel like a total numbskull, but on the whole I�m quite happy.

It�s a pleasant change of scenery, as if I�ve been traveling in black & white and all of the sudden the countryside has transformed into color. Things have a depth that I never saw before. It�s refreshing and frightening. Ahh.. �a beautiful day in the neighborhood�won�t you be mine?� La la la la la la la! �Honey pie, you are making me crazy, I�m in love but I�m lazy�� (first Beatles song that my computer chose)�la la la! Happiness!

Ta ta�.. dragon boats at 7 am tomorrow!