avoiding math by writing tripe (feel free to read though)
<< 1:48 a.m. - Wednesday, Sept. 18, 2002 >>
I've been reading a certain boy's journal and have begun to feel altogether indequate. How dare I like him? He is the philosophical type and posesses a vast amount of intelligent vocabulary. (i lack in this department)

Although he is a sophomore and I; a junior, i can imagine a philosophy talk between us. He will talk and talk asking me questions while I remain indifferent, frozen in my chair. It takes me so long to process things, I like to let come out a smoothly as possible. and of course this never happens. I am a terrible public speaker. Ahh.. the trials of a introvert.

I am constantly waiting for that invitation, and as parties and get togethers pass me by I feel more hostile. I should just put my feelings on the table. *sigh* I can't take my own advice.

I feel like i've already done so little in my life. megan may be right, i'm stifled by my friends. I can no longer really relate to them. They in a sense, make fun of depression. Myself being there at one point, find that its very awkward during their conversations, as I remain silent. We are stuck in our little nerdish group, Nose w/o Freckles remains the only person to have ever had a (slightly) physical relationship. I'm follow her with the old old old relationship with *gasp* The "Dude". What a prude I was then. I wonder? do people still see me in that light of innocence? but i guess I am "innocent". damn. I want someone I can really talk to. share deep experiences and thoughts.

Well enough of that. I should sleep.