Reaching for something that does not exist.....
<< 5:53 p.m. - Friday, Oct. 18, 2002 >>
Walked home with High Heels. Its been a long time since we�ve done anything together. Talked a lot. Mostly about school, friends, and guys. It was really nice; we�re sort of in the same place as far as friends go, small and irritating problems. Nonetheless, connected with her again.

I feel too uptight, I feel like I shouldn�t care so much - just let things go. Kelly asks why it�s a problem to care. I guess it isn�t a problem. I just feel this immense guilt about everything. It happens everywhere, everything triggers it. I feel like a bad friend, like I�m saying everything I didn�t mean to say. Maybe that�s why no one goes out with me. Damn my aloneness! I so want a guy I can be close friends with.

I just want to let go sometimes, like a balloon that flies out of a child�s hand. While they watch, the circular spot getting smaller and smaller in the endless blue sky. Leave it all behind and discover something new.

I am the one you don�t know, the silent girl in a corner. You know nothing about her, but believe everything. This girl is alive, she breathes, and she thinks. More than you can imagine. Approach what you don�t understand, stave off opinion until you know this girl. I�ll be waiting.

diosa de la peque�a