let it be known, i will not stand on. leave this weakness.
<< 2:02 p.m. - Sunday, Oct. 20, 2002 >>
Things seem very unclear at the moment. There�s this strange tension that comes and goes between friends. I�m feeling like people are talking badly about me. I know I shouldn�t care, just be happy with who I am, but my parents are detaching themselves from me. I would have never thought that would happen. O r maybe it�s me that�s separating..? I can�t tell.

I don�t know what I what, - who I want, or who I am in general. Perhaps I�m taking things too far, going too deep, and analyzing everything with tedious obsessive-ness. Trying to make the boring and insignificant seem more that it is. I have nothing else to say other that this. I�m telling The �Dude� too much, could he care less? I doubt it�.I wouldn�t.

The curtains are closed, its gray and cloudy outside, and I�m sitting alone in semi-gray darkness. I�m avoiding homework as usual, trying to think of anything else I can do. My last resort is to take a nap. That way if I don�t get anything done, I can say I got good sleep. (my mother will appreciate that)

Hands are very cold; all this typing gets them frozen. This day is so lazy. I feel bad for someone who has a birthday today. I would fall asleep at their party. Since my parents aren�t here, their guilt tripping of me is missing. Nice, now I can listen to my own guilty conscience. How very fun. Okay�..well, I probably should do something.

Ta ta for now mates!

Kelzee