that rocket is leaving w/o me
<< 5:11 p.m. - Wednesday, Oct. 23, 2002 >>
Written last night�

Rereading an old journal. Made me feel sad. It�s strange to look back. When you�re sick you cannot think of what it was to be healthy. And when you�re healthy sickness doesn�t matter, doesn�t make sense. I think I am finally in the latter stage, or very close. Coming out of sickness�

Trying to relax. Not to worry so often. Not overanalyze. The �Dude� says we should hang out and I immediately go into �Where? When? Why?� questions. I don�t want that. I need to be loose, let things slide a bit more. Not be so overly critical of myself.

-- **--

Went to Crystal Springs Park with Black Nails. It was sooo beautiful. We sat on branches of a tree that bent over the lake/pond and remained silent for about 15 minutes. Just thinking.

I watched the way the water echoed the movements of water bugs. Small circles that radiate out from their bodies, like tiny raindrops hitting the water. The leaves of the tree swayed in the water�s reflection; following some musical beat I could not fathom. I loved it.