steps in pairs, love I hope
<< 9:38 p.m. - Tuesday, Jan. 14, 2003 >>
Life is quieting for the moment. Like the hush that preludes a great storm. All the while, my eyes slowly dropping and breath slowing. If I stay too relaxed inevitably I would have to catch up with school�s events. No. Must stop procrastinating.

I have this idea to go to the beach and go swimming in the icy water. A thousand needles that stab my white legs, salt that stings the eyes. I used to do it. I still can, right? Run around the wet sand and poke at dead jellyfish. Walk for miles in silence, wind whipping my hair into my face. Fly a turquoise kite with an orca whale on it. Run down hills with tiny soft rocks that leave your feet brown. Carve a girlish heart into the sand and watch the waves erase it. We used to put initials inside and giggle. I can�t trust the ocean to do for me. It will be my waiting point. Sitting on wet sand, so recently touched. My patience ebbs.

For now I want to play guitar and ignore all the voices that buzz in the corners of my mind. I�ll do what I want.