All These Things We'll One Day Swallow Whole
<< 8:18 p.m. - Friday, Dec. 12, 2003 >>
Shades of blue. I am returning from a faraway land, and traveling at night. Road is blue and blurred. Don�t want to feel lost again. Ignored the signs and my own screaming intuition Brenna swears is never wrong. I�m not hurt or angry or surprised. Weighted perhaps. Sorry too.

The cycle returns and maybe, just maybe I�m not in the same place as before. I am the goddamn moon. And I don�t want to keep trying to pull an entire ocean with me. But the sky isn�t visible in the cave that is my basement. It�s too cold to stare. Too cold. I don�t want to, anyways.

Watching me watch myself, and I know I wasn�t being honest. A half life. A half mind. A half me. And I�m sorry for that.

My own story that was, isn�t. Can�t have me without the rest, but I�ve written myself out lately. I�ve become an ear to everyone but myself. I�m okay. I�m fine. I love you all.

We can't return we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game.
-Joni Mitchell

Let me in? I�m cold and tired.