I Have An Ear
<< 1:23 p.m. - Sunday, Nov. 02, 2003 >>
There�s an �A� carved and worn into the ground inside the valley, and as I walk I dictate how I want this entry to go. It keeps changing. I can�t catch the sound. I can�t make the moment last. I don�t feel connected to the landscape. I am attached more to the memories. Memories that are leaving me too soon.

It�s blank ahead. I let it be that way. We�re walking down the center street, drifting in and out of conscious copious thought. We are wind. We are forever asking. This music is played in panpipes and accusing words and I can�t help thinking how it makes the world seem like an 80�s textbook and something so simple. It�s not that way. I don�t think the world is that small. When I see the vastness ahead, I feel so tiny and she feels larger. Maybe that�s my cynicism leaching out. I don�t know. I just don�t feel that important in the scheme of things.

Arrogance is an interesting subject. I don�t know whether I may have found myself reveling in my own cryptic words and looser clothes. I take too much pride in my thoughts. I am floating in space these days. Suspended in the stars and iris-less eyes.

Lights from industrial Portland twinkle between trees, and send my thoughts shooting of like sparks. Trying to evaluate, understand, and make the complex that much more simplistic. I think in the end, it is. It all depends on measure. One inch away and I�d be whirling in a sea of self-pity and now, I�m a kite in the sky. Not high, no not that way. It�s all relative. You must know now. I have perspective. I have my ear.