Wandering Stars
<< 4:00 a.m. - Saturday, Jun. 28, 2003 >>

Gina and I mocked the couples by creating our own. Hah. Holding hands and laying on laps. Watched people bring their bodies closer to others and almost felt like it didn't matter. That jealousy can really get ahold of me sometimes, but I had my Gina.

Coming back home and watching my blue tinted face in the window I thought about Jenny's leaving. Craned my head onto Andrew's shoulder and watched the cars pass and the weird angle I had of his face. This comfortable ambiance of new friendships.

And then I cried. On his shoulder and when I was hugging Jenny. Only she noticed, and that was what I had wanted. None of these questioning eyes, that only make me want to cry more, because I'm going to miss Jenny. I haven't bonded with her in so long and for the life of me I can't figure out why I didn't connect with her sooner. Now she's leaving, and I'm going on without her strong voice to bolster my own. Dar won't echo in my ears in the same way. And I worry I'll lose all the ground I've made without her bravery. I'm going to send you tons of letters, chica. And I'll wave goodbye at the airport at three in the morning if I have to.

Crying again.