I am a Raging Sea Tonight
<< 1:09 a.m. - Friday, Jun. 13, 2003 >>
What do I do with this mother of mine?

You don't bring me anything but down
Everything is crashing to the ground
Maybe I'm not your perfect kind
Maybe I'm not what you had in mind
Maybe we're just killing time

Nothing is being solved, and I feel like every time my world is right, she tips all the glasses, upsets all the tables, and brings havoc to all those places that are mine. I am so tired. I am so angry. I run outside and grab a rock and send it crashing against the cement so hard it breaks into pieces. How can it be that I�m provoking all her actions? How can it be that I am the instigator? I hate these pointing fingers, when I have done nothing.

I cry with fury, because there is nothing else I can do. I make cookies, because I just want to pack sugar into my bloodstream and let it hang there for hours. Restless and itchy in my skin. Whatever I do, there is always some discrepancy, that spot I missed on the counter.

I come home happy and am suddenly toxic with hostility. Save me from this ugly world I dwell in.