Watch These Flames Light In Ambiguous Places
<< 11:30 a.m. - Wednesday, Jul. 16, 2003 >>
I printed out a letter and read it so much I think the paper has become a type of leather. Fold, open, crush, open, crumple, open, smile. How lame am I?

Spent my entire day with Andrew. Dragon boats at noon and me running down the ramp to the dock. I flew so fast toward the awaiting boat I couldn�t stop and crashed into the cement beneath my feet. Stomach scratched. Hands sore. My knees are swollen and red and covered in some self-created amber liquid. I�m wondering when the hell this thing will scab over. Screaming in Andrew�s bathroom as he poured hydrogen peroxide on it. Where was the warmth? I had only incredible sting. So much for being a tough little girl. And how ironic that this looks like a happy face.

And then plans for our road trip. A giant mango that related too eerily with the dreams of the night before. Cut the skins off for me please. Lets handle the pit like a bar of soap and suck off any flesh it ever had. Veiny and hairy, huh Gina?

Jangling for hours at a time. Talking, talking, talking. Music, music, music. Who are we today? I wonder constantly how I can change over the course of a day. When does death come knocking? They carried you away and I just took pictures with a roll of film I don�t know if I ever want to develop. This subtly I want you to take notice of. I can hear the wind behind all our music. Hold your breath and let this silence push itself into the speaker. Quiet. Quiet. Sit still and close and maybe I can get an accurate portrait.

My guitar is waiting for my hands to become calloused and lithe. Maybe then I can start writing songs. Let the lyrics guide the way I want the chords to sound. We�ll see. We�ll see. Watch me grow.