Those I Love So Dearly
<< 1:39 a.m. - Wednesday, Jul. 09, 2003 >>
We sit and talk for hours inside the overgrown native plant garden and I watch the moon move over the trees and catch my eye in its ghostly yellow glow. Andy�s watch beeped three times during our chat. These low key times I enjoy most, strawberry and cheesecake pie and our voices colliding. And it�s all I can do not to wrap my arms around them and confess how much this talking thrills me. How articulate I�ve become. How I�m trying to let go of all the negative things that were so deeply embedded in me. I throw pie at Andrew and it falls on Melissa�s foot and he takes it off and eats it and then I lick her foot. And we laugh and laugh and then return to seriousness. How quickly my comfort level rises these days.

I am nostalgic as all hell right now, and I can�t let go of all the petty things we said to each other at EMS. And I begin to wish that our circle would evolve together a little more. But that is selfish and na�ve. We�re very different people now. We have very different goals and ambitions, and I�just wish that we weren�t stuck in such a middle-school time. We, the Babes, are very nostalgic people, and I can�t help but wish we could live in the present a little more. Accept the people we have become. Accept that friendships that were once strong are now broken. Nothing is forever. Change is the only constant.

I can safely say that this change thing is something is I�ve been waiting to happen for years. Andrew was surprised at my quick �self-evolution� as I call it and perhaps it was inside of me for a really long time. Just not knowing how to channel it. I recall recent entries and me saying I was waiting for something, I knew that it would come but I wasn�t sure what it was exactly.

How beautiful this world is. I want to go skinny-dipping in a full moon and come up to the surface breathless and in love with the world.