Hole in the Roof
<< 12:24 a.m. - Thursday, Feb. 26, 2004 >>
Smoke rose from my bed. Curled in gray green serpents, it wafts itself across the periphery. The light I saw deserts across the room, was green. Up in the loft nest, I have curry on my hands. This is just a list of observations. This is your signal that I�m not listening. I�m not even fucking here.

I�m leaning against the wall 6 feet off the floor and grinning with Zig Zag in my mouth. A girl is smiling. A girl is formulating the space in her tiny skull. It isn�t anything. It is like the imperfections on my ceiling.

I looked outside today at the sunsetting sky and the little crescent moon and outstretched my arms. Summer�s invincibility came back to me. I believed for a moment that anything was fathomable. Maybe even for a moment I thought I could lend myself out again. I want to bind myself to this town. And make something that I can�t recreate years later. If I�m going to have to leave it behind eventually, it better be a damned painful thing. It�d better be worth it. All this wasted air I�ve got around me.

Let this air of mine not be a waste; even if it is polluted. Even if it is illegal. I have to break something.