Don't Mind Me
<< 7:09 p.m. - Saturday, May. 24, 2003 >>
Been having dreams about bees and wasps. I had kicked up my feet at one because it wouldn�t stop hovering around my friends. And then there was a buzzing at my ear and I knew it was in my mouth, ready to sting. Woke up with chills. What does this mean? Bees indicate: Activity. Productivity. Social life. Happiness in life. Success in love. Good earnings. Bees signify pleasant and profitable engagements.

Feeling more cranky than prosperous and happy. Megan has started her diary again, for which I am happy. But I find that every entry returns me to a time when I was so completely aware that I wasn�t enough; that I could never replace Rahnia. I don�t even want to be a replacement. Fuck if I know want I want. It�s just me being despondent and distant.

In some ways I want someone to tell me what to do and where I should let my life go, but as soon as someone follows my order, I�ll feel nothing but resentment towards them. Mwah�..