Attack of the Words
<< 4:57 p.m. - Friday, Nov. 21, 2003 >>
You can hide in words. You can hide in fantasy. But when you fall from your paper mach� world and hit reality, oh, nothing is as vibrant as you once saw it. That�s not saying I�m unhappy, only stating I am confused. Apparently there are two hundred and fifty ways to hide your true meaning in words. I�m just beginning to master one or two. Were you ever annoyed that you had no idea what I was saying? I was too.

I received six letters throughout the course of the day. All these conflicting views and obscure subtlety makes me feel queasy. Why can�t we ever say what we want to say? I want someone to ask questions of me, because I�m always doing it. No, not always, I try not to use blanket statements. �Objective Queen, are you becoming subjective?� Yes. Yes if I ever was objective, I�ve lost that quality now. Not a relief, because I liked it. Falling in and out of the conscious world and pointing my finger at the stars when my heart got to close. What would I do if I forgot about what people thought? What does love mean? When we write it at the bottom of a letter, do we mean it? What am I to think?

I don�t want to stop asking questions, but someday I would like a couple to be answered. Someone tapped me on the back; someone leaned on my shoulder. Someone even gave me a good hug.