After Dark
<< 12:08 a.m. - Sunday, Nov. 30, 2003 >>
"Your optimism will see you through."
-Fortune Cookie

Shining through the clouds, there is no sun, but an indent of what I should be seeing, that still blindsizes me at 10pm on some idle Saturday. The sky is orange, and trees black skeletons now, and I feel like I'm a wandering nomad. Like I've been camping in foreign places for all of my life. And this is home? I love them all so much, and for some unknown reason, I've turned cold and quiet. And as always, I am sorry for that. My inadequacies can be vast when it's too dark to see them clearly.

If I remain positive, I can be crushed. If I am pesismistic, I can say I saw it happening a mile off. I'll still be crushed, but unscathed. You create the world you live in,so why can't I create mine? Or, more accurately, why do I feel like I can't? Thoughts can change the air. So let's start with something I want rather than something I fear. You know already. I really need to talk to someone in peticular.

I need to breathe some fresh air.