Sway to This Sound. Colors Are All Around.
<< 1:57 a.m. - Saturday, Jul. 05, 2003 >>
I�m sitting here at someone else�s desk. Using someone else�s computer and old keyboard and strangely have no qualms about it. I think perhaps that I am alone, and for once I�m glad. I need some time to reflect over the events of the past couple of days. What is happening to this quiet Kelsi? And do I want to keep myself talking or return to being buried in a multitude of things I might have said? Being rash and unclear is a new characteristic of mine. This is all new. And I don�t really know what to say about the person I am.

I watched The Lion King with Sydney on Tuesday and suddenly I have this quote from Scar rolling around in my head. �My words are a matter of pride.� And they really are. I�. where am I going with this? I breaking out of my goddamned shell and suddenly there are people everywhere that I want to meet. Lives I want to touch. I know I probably sound like some fixated missionary, but I can�t explain myself any better. This world I live in is on fire. Every moment so hollow and strong. Resonating for days.

Andrew and I made this insane combo of coffee, Swiss Miss mix, cinnamon, vanilla creamer, and god knows what else. Sleep will not find me. I�m left with weakened mind and electric body. These pretty words I put too much faith in, will fail me soon. But fuck it all, the shell broke. And I�m more alive than ever. Fireworks are beautiful with a five second aperature.