when motivation hits the wall
<< 1:00 a.m. - Monday, Mar. 10, 2003 >>
Grease was awesome. Every time I see a play or concert, I have this deep wish to be a part of that. To pick up a guitar and play. To really sing and not just do mock low tones. But in the end, those are not my skills, or at least I�m not sure I want them to be. I have this feeble desire to be in the spotlight. I remember in fifth grade I had a role in �Of Mice and Men�. A stupid play about Mozart, in which I and another kid sang about how amazed we were at young Amadeus� piano skills. I�m thinking that back then I did all these things, played basketball, won sixth place in a track race I never practiced for � where did all that go?

I wish I had that back. Not that I wasn�t shy then, but somehow I just didn�t care. That year, I lost my only friend when she moved away, and I had nothing to lose.

In my round about way, I�m trying to say that I want the things I�m invested in; art and writing, could be part of the public eye instead of just drama and choir. It�s disappointing to work just as hard as the choir and drama people and have my hard work in a secluded showcase.