Boy? Will You Sit Next to Me?
<< 9:26 p.m. - Monday, May. 19, 2003 >>
I am a useless captain. Just an extra appendage no one knows what to do with. Is it possible to be fired from captain? If so, fire me now and get it over with. I�m so directionless and easily distracted. And I�ll probably end up losing peoples money that they collected. If Sheila was smart she would have made Adam the captain and not me. Why was I chosen over those so much more capable? Kelsi = socially inadequate & comes off as a snob. Dammit, I hate this. Sarah makes me feel stupid for ever hoping I could be a mid� and personally in my evil way I�ve noticed that she doesn�t put her legs forward on the back powers and her calls are too late. All I want is a position of some standing, which is lame, but I don�t like the anonymity.

I�ve spent all my energy on the bike ride to dragon boats and back, and the practice itself. I want time to stop for just a day so I can sleep in and relax. I�m tired. I�m unmotivated. I�m completely at a loss for pretty sounding words.

I want to do a portrait of Brendan with his hair covering his eyes, because I love that. But, isn�t that entirely too stalkerish? I�m creeping myself out with plans of things I could say to him. God, what a lusty lame-o I am.