Smite the Mouth & Burn the Page
<< 8:46 p.m. - Tuesday, Sept. 02, 2003 >>
I'm floating down a river
oars freed from their holes long ago
lying face up on the floor
of my vessel
I marvel at the stars
and feel my heart overflow

And I�m only transcribing bits of writing in my journal because I have nothing else to do while my pants are still damp.

�Sitting on rocks in a levy and facing the bay and sun glare. Took my shirt off and am marveling at how very very white I am. The wind blows and I can feel all the minute hairs shift. Lovely. Water lulling against the rocks. Voluptous sound. And light hits the water in fractured bits. I could walk over it and return to you if I could move fast enough�

�Tide went out and as I walked into the distant roar of the ocean, green seaweed squelched beneath my feet. Personal velocity. Lets see how far I can project myself. I�m suddenly under a solarium in OMSI. See how quickly I forget the magnitude of the stars? And who I am. Remembering the bitter, Kelsi? I admit the strength of sea salt and rotting aquatic plants does interrupt my �nighttime visions of grandeur.� Kasha here beside me and three bright lights in the distance�

�My words feel like lines under the eyes. Don�t ask me why. Dark crevices under something so knowing. So oblivious. And maybe I just opened mine today�

�Spears of light echo across this dark hall and copy themselves on the floor. So I can�t tell where I am. Who I am. Its all double mirrors and mercury answers. I�m getting back exactly what I said. No, no, you misunderstand me. Who are you? Not, �who am I?��

�I want to know how you feel about me. No conditional tense. Future tense. And no subjunctive. I need to know this moment, in all my puny and furious glory�

I'm building an antenna
transmissions will be sent
when I am through
maybe we can meet again
further down the river
and share what we both discovered
then revel in the view

What does it take for the heart to explode into stars?