The Stars Came Out Last Night
<< 1:31 p.m. - Tuesday, Jul. 22, 2003 >>
Where am I today? Where exactly is it that I�m headed for? This not knowing thing is getting to me and I�m sitting here feeling like I�m floating. As if the screen is tilting slowly and I can�t find a place to ground myself. You said I was already home, and maybe that�s right. There is no end. No beginning. I remain listless and full of unanswered questions.

I feel as if I�ve left myself scattered all over the earth. Pieces of the person I am and was and am becoming are flying around me with incredible speed. I admit I feel a bit lost. Put me back together again will you? There once was a time when I thought I knew myself. No more. These daydreams I have cast myself in may not fall through the way I had planned. You write, �you� and I think it�s about me. I don�t know what has possessed me. I can�t think straight.

I could burst a million bubbles
All surrogate and bullet proof

I need to keep walking. Exploring the streets with close friends and finding myself so devoid of thought. I am empty and full. And never so near to complete euphoria.

Went to Seattle and wandered the city for 12 hours. Up into skyscrapers and into Dan�s office. Took pictures that should mix nicely. Falling asleep with Andrew drooling at my side, while Rosy and Lizzy chase each other with bubbles. And I�m listening to everything in a muted fashion as my senses deaden with sleep. The water lapping on the rocks, train�s metallic crunching, the leaves hiss as wind passes us by. I could be anywhere right now.

Malt frappacinos, banana smoothies, ice cold water, Odwalla C- Monster, root beer with a pink straw. I am traveling this earth at rapid speed. Open my mouth and catch all the insects on my way. Could care less.

Alaska came up too often in the man that gave us high fives, the license plates and the writing on trucks and buildings. I really wish that I wasn�t going anymore. If I have to spend 168 hours or more with a five year old, my brain is going to melt out of my ears.

If I mention something, anything; what weather will I receive?