Spead It Even. Okay?
<< 9:15 p.m. - Friday, May. 02, 2003 >>
Adagio for Strings. Have you heard that song? I love it. The violins sing in such a way that makes me feel full and empty at the same time. As if I�ve flushed away all petty thoughts and have become full of worthwhile things to talk about. But maybe not. The song lasts ten minutes and it�s enough to make me turn to dust in the scream of the strings.

I�m trying very hard to divide myself evenly over things. Spread the butter that is me over the proverbial piece of toast. I�m finding it hard. To give everyone the love that I can only manage to disperse in small doses. Because in the end all I want is to sit down with you all and tell you exactly how I�m feeling. But do you want to hear? Will I make any sense? Words spoken to a room sound so much more inarticulate than I intend them too. Much more closed-minded than I give myself credit for.

I�ll just spend this night taking flat pictures of myself and playing card games on the computer.