Let Us Look to the Stars
<< 11:55 p.m. - Monday, Jun. 02, 2003 >>

Here I am in my all-powerful state. Hah hah. Getting used to my image in the mirror. My body feels lithe and flexible. The yoga instructor lifted me off the ground today, what an incredible stretch. My hands were slipping off my feet with excess sweat. I mouthed to Gina �Oh fuck!�

Last weekend has left me with a mind so empty. I was bonding with people who I had never really been around. I felt a part of things and then oddly separate. There are those jokes that you can only laugh at by spending too much time in the presence of others. Sexual humor is not something I�m used to. I�m not used to people being so open. Or are they? I can�t tell. It just feels like with my sixth grade clique we hold so much back. But I don�t know. The experience of a party with boys and girls intermingling so peacefully was very strange. I ended up mooning a group of 14 year olds with Andrew, Ashley and Eva. Something in me is slowly changing.

I can breathe now with a conviction that I am happy in the place I find myself. There is no one to kiss me on lonely nights, and for the moment I could give a shit. I have myself. I am a worthwhile human being. Being so conscious is incredible. I love with full heart and moonlit eyes.