Time
<< 9:46 p.m. - Thursday, Jun. 05, 2003 >>
I lied in the grass for an hour, just watching the sky and the leaves being harassed by the wind. I was lovely and beautiful in those moments under a tree on the Esplinade. I need more time like that. When there is nothing to do, nothing to plague my mind, all I can do is watch my mind circle over petty articles of thought.

I think about how time passes in such a strange way. How the lives of others bring me back to older, murkier memories of my own. I can�t help but wish I could fast forward and rewind time at will. All those failures that plague me could be forgotten in a click of a button. Jenny, I don�t recommend the path I have taken. Don�t stop caring, because it�s so hard to turn around and come sloshing up the river back to where you once were. My decisions leave haunting echoes behind me. A mind filled with guilt and remorse. Why couldn�t I just have done what everyone else did? Being a rebellious shit didn�t get me anywhere.

I want a machine that can trace all the tracks I have ever made. Color-coded for years. And anytime I wanted to relive the event I could step on the old footprint and be taken back.