Want
<< 10:31 p.m. - Tuesday, Nov. 04, 2003 >>
I will control my world to the best of my ability. Control. Control! Keep those reins pulled tight and that paddle moving solidly in good time. I hate feeling like I haven�t any power. I hate that college is this miracle world where I�m supposed to resolve my aspirations into a single conglomerate degree. I don�t work like that. I�d lose all interest, like those lit matches in this Portland wind.

And everyone�s motivation seems to be dying, and I work like the rest. I�m flickering now. I�m questioning it all. Why? Why? Why does this even matter?

If I lived the way I wanted. If I� well, what the hell would I do?

I would never be home. I would never be grounded. I would be a nomad. Traveling around the state with a backpack and a couple of friends. Worn books with me. Water and ink. Art and word. My love. Heisha and the night sky.